Trust No One But Yourself
We only have a small amount of trust we can play with in our lives. Share it with many people and you have none left for yourself. Share it with a few people and it takes only one person to betray your trust for it to hurt a lot. There is only one other option; save it all for yourself.
Trust is a scarce resource. It cannot be bought or sold. It cannot be found or discovered. It cannot be traded or bargained with. Trust can only be earned and built up from the base. It is built from different foundations but it always starts with and ends with effort from whomever wishes to have it. To think of trust in any other way is deluding themselves. Trust is the bedrock of most of our actions and reactions to other people and arguably most importantly to ourselves. It is irrefutable that trust is a most precious commodity that is in short supply. Why is it in short supply? The effort required to build up enough trust to do so many things with it takes so much time, mental effort and willpower. This is coupled with the time it takes to shatter all of that trust. Remember, it takes weeks, months to build up trust, it takes a second to smash it into oblivion.
So what do we do with the trust we have built up in our lives; the trust that has so far survived the test of time. For some of you reading that might be a lot, or it might be a small amount. The message is still the same; what do we do with it? Let's set the parameters; what should we do with our trust? We must first make sure that it survives for as long as is possible. Secondly we must make sure that it cannot be abused or diminished in such a quick space of time if it has to. Thirdly we must make sure that whatever we put our trust in to is worth while.
With these three main conditions what can we therefore decide to place our trust in to? This is where the heartless bit comes in, to some people. It is clear that those who abuse and destroy trust the most are other people in our lives; that is to varying degrees of damage and methods of destruction. This might sound heartless and baseless but it is indeed what most of us trust the most by sheer volume. We are social creatures after all. Bear in mind, there is nothing wrong with this. But there is a lot that can go wrong with it. Trust is finite. Why would you give such a finite and valuable resource over to something or someone else to whom anything can happen both good and bad?
So what is left? Where do we give that trust to if we rule out other people as the recipients of such vast quantities of something so precious in our lives? Why don't we decide to give that trust to ourselves? Why don't we start to trust ourselves, in our decisions, our actions, our reactions, our impulses, our gut feelings, our wants, our desires, our behaviors and our aims? Why don't we direct our trust inwards almost explicitly? Why don't we turn our guns to defending our trust in ourselves rather than to others who we cannot defend our trust with?
This sounds like a very heartless way to live. Bear in mind, reader, that this does not mean we stop caring for others, we do not stop our empathy, sympathy, efforts and actions that would benefit others. That would not make sense. We do not need to trust others to go about being helpful and kind to our fellow man. But when it comes to trust with our happiness, our hopes, our mental reliance, our love, our ability to live our lives we need not give it to others or something else. We need not trust anyone especially when we don't need to give it to others in order to be good people. Trust and kindness are two very different things and if we are to live our lives as sustain-ably happy as possible then we better know the difference.
Why should we trust only ourselves? What do we benefit out of that? Simply put we would never betray our own trust. The path of self-destruction is well known but when it comes to betraying our own trust we would not do so if we trusted ourselves adequately and enough to believe in ourselves. That is the benefit of trusting ourselves completely. This means trusting ourselves with our own happiness, our own behaviors and our own decisions, that is it. No one or nothing else are things we should trust with the fundamentals of our existence that means so much to us. It is this mentality that would save us from the pain we may feel along the way that is indescribable when it happens. We become the masters of our emotions and our well-being in so many ways. With diverting our trust from the external to the internal almost explicitly we gain control, a lasting control over ourselves and we start to make the right decisions for our health and well-being that would otherwise be left at the way-side waiting to hopefully be picked up by someone else we hope would look after. That valuable trust is protected by you.
We need not be cynical about the world as a result of turning our trust inwards. We don't need to be distrustful of everyone else. That is essentially a negative reaction to trusting no one but yourself. We need only treat everything else in a neutral and therefore objective and balanced manner. They don't mean nothing to us us, they simply mean less than they could because we haven't emotionally invested our hard-earned trust in them. We don't need to. Therefore if anything goes wrong where otherwise valuable trust would be smashed into the ground we can simply move on easily, a process that would take a few weeks to a couple months would be be over in a day. That is the power of placing trust where it needs to go.
With a building up of trust within ourselves we can finally take responsibility and ownership of our own lives. In the end it will only be us that will do it in the truest form. When we do we light the way for others and maybe, just maybe, we can begin to end the destructive pattern so many of us find ourselves in. We stop doing things that harm us for the sake of maintaining battered and broken trust. We detach ourselves from what does us harm because that valuable trust we try to save is not there; it is where it needs to be; coating us in the armor needed to fend off the attacks of what life will throw at us; and it will throw many things at us.
Believe in yourself, trust yourself above all else and you will be free from the chains which would otherwise hold you down. When you are free, when you trust no one but yourself you will see a clearer light shine on the world around you and you can be free, self-sustainably healthy and most importantly self-sustainably happy.