The Psychology Of Fitness: Eliminate Self-Worth
One of the biggest reasons people join a gym or get fit is that they want to feel better about themselves, they want those endorphins and use the gym to feel amazing, better than someone else, feeling special, and in doing so improve one's feeling of self-worth; mostly from looking good.
Whilst that is a good way of starting out your fitness life, of which was mine to start of with too, it should not be the sole reason, in fact you should get rid of it as a reason as soon as possible. Sounds bizzarre? Let me explain.
What is self-worth? Being worthy to look good? Get loads of instagram followers? Having those abs or amazing body definition? Will it make you a better person? Will it attract that boy or girl you want to find?
If you go through the fitness route of improving your self-worth, you will be driven initially, but you will never be satisfied. If you think to yourself "i am amazing", "i look amazing", "people are going to love me", "i'm going to be really popular now", you are aiming for something impossible, simply because all of those statements are subjective.
Ok, let's make it easier. Can you see your feet? Good. Can you see your arms? Thank goodness, i'd be worried if you couldn't. Can you see your worth? No? Of course you don't. It's an imaginary social construct you have been told by your parents, your friends, your facebook/instagram/twitter follower numbers. Self-worth is something you will never be able to achieve because you cannot be satisfied, or if you feel self-worth, if you feel amazing, won't you feel anxious if something proves you aren't special?
Same way, if you feel worthless; why do you feel worthless? You have less friends? You can't lift as much as that other person? You don't have as good a body as the other person? So what? Self-worth doesn't exist except in your imagination.
Instead of trying to achieve the idea that you are great, special, irressistable, why don't you just tell yourself that you are you? You exist, not as an empty shell, but as someone who can make his/her own descisions, and you are someone who doesn't care what other people think of you. Who cares if some people think you are worthless, or not as good as someone else, so what? You are no better, or no worse than the person next to you, the person you are talking to. If you can believe that you will be liberated of social anxiety and you can grow as a person without thinking "will they like me?"
Use the gym not as something to distract you, make you feel more worthy or more great, use the gym because it makes you happy. Don't exercise because you think it will make others like you, use it so that you will like you. Don't use the gym so you can feel you are better than someone else, use the gym so that you feel healthier and are able to do more things in your life.
If you are able to do this, there is more of a chance you will stick with exercise, because trying to improve your self-worth is impossible as you can't please everyone all the time, unless you are a god. Thus because it is impossible to improve your self-worth to the point where you feel comfortable without having to prove your self-worth, you will be caught in a vicious circle of anxiety of trying to avoid negative outcomes that show you that you are not worthy of something, and so will feel the gym isn't working for you.
Liberate yourself from a social construct and you will enjoy life, enjoy exercise and enjoy being who you really are, not what you want people to see you as.