The Rules of Gym Selfies
Ok guys and gals, here are the rules you MUST abide by in order to take a gym selfie without looking like an utter tool.
To pass for a legitamate selfie you must have satisfied at least 6 of the following criteria:
1) You have been going to the gym for more than a year accumatively.
2) You have trained from the months of September-December at least once.
3) It is AFTER your workout.
4) You are the only person in the selfie.
5) The gym is relatively quiet in the background.
6) You are using a mirror to take a picture of you and not the front camera.
7) Your gym clothes match and do not contain too much colour in general.
8) It is obvious you have made gains/are toned in the gym.
9) The photo is taken to motivate others as well as to show off yourself.
10) You are shattered whilst taking the photo.
11) You are using a filter that does not disproportionaly distort the photo.
12) You are standing up or seated in a relatively normal position.
A gym selfie is not allowed to be posted on social media if you meet at least 3 of the following criteria:
1) There's more than 3 people in the selfie.
2) There are lots of others in the background.
3) You are making a cheesy pose.
4) You are pouting. (You are a person, not a duck)
5) You have been a gym-goer for under 3 months. (You have to earn a selfie)
6) It is before your workout. (This is just arrogance)
7) You are being over-provocative. (You are someone's son/daughter)
8) You look like a twat. (You have to be self-critical before we are)
9) You are using a selfie stick (Don't hate us when we beat you with these sticks)
10) You are holding a dumbell. (you train whilst holding your phone?)
11) Photoshop the photo. (I will find you people, and I will kill you)
12) Put some god awful caption on it.
13) You have a terrible haircut.
14) You are wearing a hat, jeans, a coat. (I have seen these people and it's so funny)
15) You are in immediate danger. (Don't take a picture of an angry bear, run!!)
These are the rules. abide by them and we will let you live. (Smiley face)